I was really hoping Aiden's birth story would only be eventful enough for one post, but it looks like this is going to be a two-parter, folks.
"Dysfunctional labor." "Lazy uterus." "Unproductive contractions." These are a just a few of the themes that seemed to characterize not only my first birth experience, but also my second. Well-meaning friends, family members and even my midwife promised me a very different subsequent birth than I experienced. "It'll be half the time!" "The baby will just fall out!" "You probably won't even need or have time for pain meds!" At least now I can say definitively that long, difficult labors really are what my body does. And yes, I probably would have died in childbirth in an earlier century. Thank goodness for modern medicine! All of this has caused me to ask the question: was I meant to birth babies? Maybe it just means that I was meant to be born in this century and not earlier ones...
Recalling Aiden's birth story is a little like recalling my own; some of the details are a little hazy. Throughout eighteen hours of labor, there were moments of unadulterated joy peppered with moments of intense fear, pain and worry. In the end, we have been blessed with another heavenly treasure, Aiden Elijah Charles, our miracle boy. He was born on March 18, 2012 at 2:04pm and was 8 lbs. and 22 1/2 inches long. What a looker!
Let's start at the beginning...my due date, March 12th.
There is no denying that this pregnancy was different than the last. My body seemed to have this been-there-done-that attitude. All of the typical pregnancy symptoms revealed themselves earlier and more intensely than before. This gave me hope that I was getting much of the hard work of labor out of the way prior to the big day. When I started having regular, intense contractions on the evening of Monday, March 12, I was confident that I would give birth before my midwife, Danielle, left for Mexico that Saturday. I had met with her earlier in the day and she told me everything looked great and more importantly, ready. I was dilated to about 1 cm and all of the signs pointed to an imminent delivery. Baby Aiden was locked and loaded.
Two hours came and went, as did the contractions. I chalked it up to pre-labor and decided that Aiden would probably be here within a day or two. On Tuesday, I started losing my plug- another hopeful sign. This continued over the next three days along with a slew of emotional ups and downs accompanying several "this might be it" moments. On Thursday, I had five hours of regular, very intense contractions lasting over a minute and three to four minutes apart. I thought FOR SURE this was it. I called Danielle around 2am that night and she agreed that this was probably the rill dill, but told me to take a warm bath just to wait it out a little longer at home. I did as I was told and noticed that my contractions got much easier to bare. I crawled into bed afterwards to assess my contractions. Imagine my surprise when I realized I had been able to fall asleep after such a build up! Any woman who has done this before knows that if you are able to fall asleep...it ain't happenin'.
Understandably, I was in a bit of a sour mood when I woke up in the morning. I was supposed to have Aiden by now! What happened? Danielle would be leaving the next day and I just had to get this going! Friday evening, I adopted the determination of Rocky and decided to try a few tricks to get things moving. I put on my hiking shoes (that were just a little more snug than usual), put on Adele's 21 album on my iPhone and set out on the streets of Pineridge. I would not return until I was in labor.
I trudged those mountain hills for over 2 miles, pushing through a considerable amount of aches and pains in the process. It was more exercise than I had gotten in weeks! In fact, I was worried I wouldn't make it back home a few times...which must've been what Wes thought when I didn't return for over an hour. I took a potty-break at Kristin Harman's house to commiserate. She was 38 weeks pregnant and more than ready to get her fifth child here (a 10-pounder, I might add). When Wes showed up at the Harman's house, I realized I probably should have informed someone of my whereabouts. Wes was sure I was on the side of the road somewhere alone giving birth. If only...
An hour later, the contractions started. Another five or so hours and a huge adrenaline rush. Another warm bath. Another disappointment. I texted my midwife a status update and she told me that unless I was ready to have the baby that night, she would not be delivering Aiden. She added, "It's not too late for castor oil!" No thanks...
I became at peace with the fact that I would not have the midwife I had been seeing every month at checkups for almost the past year. I'm the one doing the tough part anyway, right? Any OBGYN with half a brain can catch a baby. I made some calls to friends who had seen the other two OBs in the practice and they all confirmed that I had nothing to worry about. Dr. Faulk and Dr. Sabella were both excellent. Great!
The next day was St. Patrick's Day. Despite feeling pretty miserable at five days past my due date, I was no longer in a rush. I had no clock to beat. Aiden would come when he was ready. I spent the day soaking in Liam's cuteness and wondering if I would have time to soak in his cuteness after his brother was born. I wore a green maternity t-shirt. I made my traditional Corned Beef and Cabbage and invited our dear friends, the Kimbles over to share it, hoping that a little of Lauren's history of a 4-hour natural childbirth juju would rub off on me. When contractions started yet again after dinner, I thought little of them. Lauren and I got schooled by the guys in Jeopardy, but I at least had the excuse of being in labor. And little did I know that labor it was...
Disregard the back fat and chins, people. They're only temporary.
The same build-up happened as other days that week, but this time things kept building. Contractions got so intense that I had no time for a bath. There was no doubt that this was the real thing. We called my parents around 10:30pm and warned them that we would probably need them to come over soon. Fifteen minutes later, we called them back and told them to get in the car. We were at Park City Medical Center just before midnight.
Tiffany was our first nurse (of many). I liked her until she gave me an excruciating exam and told me that I was barely 1cm dilated. After that, she became "the nurse that hurt me and gave me bad news." Not again. I had been in labor for 4 hours already... PLEASE NOT AGAIN! I was mentally prepared for many things, but not another 26 hour labor...Tiffany told us that if I showed no signs of progress in the next hour, they would release us to go home. Please let us go home!
Katelynn was the second nurse to check my status. Easiest exam ever. She also was the one who placed my I.V. for antibiotics and got the vein on the first try after some creative thinking (she wrapped a warm towel around my forearm to dilate the veins). This has never been done before! Usually, I look like Frankenstein after nurses get ahold of me with needles. Katelynn gets a gold star. She told us that since my cervix had come forward a bit in an hour, we would not be able to leave. I was in for the long haul...But hey, at least I was progressing.
Because I was fine with either on-call OB, I asked casually which of the two would be delivering my baby. I was not at all prepared for the answer. "Well, actually, both are on vacation as well. You will have Dr. Melissa Brown from IMC. We've never met her, so we really can't tell you anything more. Sorry!"
You. Have. Got. To be. Kidding.
The circumstances of my second labor seemed so absurd, it was almost laughable. I tried to keep a level head and be at peace with the things that were beyond my control. Aiden would be coming soon, whether I liked it or not. He would be born at this hospital by this random doctor. It was a done deal. At least I wasn't giving birth on the side of the road. We did a quick Google search for Dr. Brown, read some great reviews, watched a YouTube interview video of her and decided things would be okay.
I dilated to 5cm in the next three hours. Despite unbelievable pain, I was actually elated that things seemed to be moving along! I became energized and recommitted to the task. I was optimistic that maybe this labor would be half the time of Liam's. I asked for pain relief eight hours into labor, knowing I might have several more hours of intense pain to go and I was already exhausted. My anesthesiologist, Dr. William Shakespeare (I'm not kidding), arrived soon after to place the epidural.
This became the turning point of my labor. Things started to go downhill quickly. It has taken me so long to get up the nerve to write Part II of Aiden's birth story because I still haven't quite recovered from the trauma of it all...
To be continued...
Showing posts with label Baby Aiden. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Baby Aiden. Show all posts
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Waiting for Aiden
One year ago today, I was going between rooms 1, 2 and 3 on the maternity floor of the Park City Medical Center to meet three new little people, Dominic, Zuzu and Patton. Today, I am anxiously awaiting the arrival of my own little treasure, Aiden Elijah. He is due on Monday, March 12 and at 1 cm dilated, Aiden is "locked and loaded." However, he doesn't seem very anxious to leave his happy home (I made a pretty good one for him.)
Throughout this pregnancy, I have harbored deep fears that Aiden's birth would be a repeat of Liam's birth experience...long and very difficult. My midwife, Danielle Demeter, has promised me that not only would it be at most half the amount of time (13 hours?), it would be easier. Still, I've struggled with the idea that my body could do anything differently than it did before. Why was I only dilated to 3 cm after nearly 22 hours of labor? I reject the HypnoBirthing hypothesis that fear prevented progress. I was fearless and confident going into Liam's birth...some might even say brainwashed. But things didn't happen. For this reason, what should have been nine months of excitement and anticipation has instead been filled with dread and fear. Until about a week ago...
A friend of mine, Emma (Zuzu's mom), was kind enough to let me borrow her HypnoBirthing book. Granola? Yes. Helpful? Also yes. I told her that I didn't think I would be able to connect with rainbow visualization and baby animal imagery. But HypnoBirthing espouses that if women are able to completely relax (the way that our animal sisters do in nature), that a truly pain-free, gentle, natural childbirth is possible. While I am highly skeptical that birth will ever really be "pain-free" for me, I can get behind the idea of gently nudging Aiden into the world instead of taking forceful, aggressive measures to "push" him into it. This may be able to happen if a) I have a strong support system (Wes/Danielle) willing to ensure a tranquil, peaceful environment, b) we avoid any drugs or measures meant to "speed things along" and c) I can go so deeply into a state of relaxation and focus to let my body and baby do what they need to do.
St. Mark's Hospital was not the ideal environment for all of this to happen with Liam. Although my Bradley Method techniques served me well for a good 22/26 hours of labor (during which I could have delivered three babies naturally if I had been dilating), once Pitocin started, my hopes of anything natural and gentle disappeared. Further, when Wes tried to sneak me a Jolly Rancher after not having eaten in two days, the nurses threatened to confiscate any food we had in our possession. Does that sound natural and gentle? It's like denying a marathon athlete water during the race! PCMC will let me eat light snacks for the energy I'll need to do the job and Danielle is on board with every gentle technique I have discussed with her. When asked how many HypnoBirthing moms have the outcomes they had hoped for, she gave me an estimate of 90%. I'd say that's a pretty good endorsement.
I want desperately for this to be a positive experience. I want to feel safe and in control. And here's the key: if feeling safe and in control means getting an epidural, so be it. I'm not here to prove anything to anyone (even to myself). My mission is to bring Aiden here safely in a way that makes me want to have more babies one day.
These photos were taken 19 weeks in on October 19, 2011 at St. Mark's Hospital where we confirmed that Aiden was a "he." Wes was working in California at the time, so he joined via iPhone. I had known since about week 8 that I was carrying another baby boy. Naming him came somewhat naturally as we were hoping to stick with the Gaelic theme and this boy has been a bit...enthusiastic? Aiden translates to "little fire" and seemed like the perfect fit. I just hope the description doesn't translate to insane toddler/teenage years...
We've included Liam in preparations for his little brother since early second trimester, and he seems noticeably excited about what is to come. Liam is such a special, gentle soul that I can just imagine how he will welcome Aiden into his life. He needs a buddy.
My Mamma got me this beautiful two-sided necklace so that I can keep both of my boys close to my heart. I treasure it.
The day I found out I was pregnant with Aiden, July 3, I went to the outlets and tried on a bunch of clothes that I knew I would not fit in in several weeks...so I didn't buy anything. It was kind of a "goodbye, body" homage. Although, looking back, I probably should've picked up this $13 dress thing from the Banana Republic Outlet...cute, right? Pregnancy doesn't last forever, but it sure has felt like it this time around. Nausea, vomiting, acid reflux, leg cramps, carpal tunnel, hemorrhoids (yeah, you heard me), weight gain, exhaustion, backaches, acne, paralyzing pelvic girdle pain...Pregnancy is not for sissies, people. They told me subsequent pregnancies are often harder than the first. Now I believe them. STILL, totally worth it in the end. I'd gain 54 pounds every time if it means I get perfect children like sweet Liam.
4 weeks...
22 weeks...
29 weeks...
36 weeks...
39.5 weeks...almost there...
It's time to come and play, Aiden! We've been waiting for so long for you to join our family of three! We already love you more than the moon and the stars...
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